Comments on: Mother in Law

By: Virginia Woolf’s Sketch of the Past « Smithereens

Virginia Woolf’s Sketch of the Past « Smithereens — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 15:16:44 +0000

[...] recent post by Bloglily on discovering her mother-in-law, a woman whom she’s always felt kind of distant and who has been revealing titbits of her [...]

By: queenmabsmuse

queenmabsmuse — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:26:24 +0000

I was born and raised in the San Joaquin Valley. Your entry brought back many memories of my own family before I moved to Monterey…and Maine. Hmmm…mmm not too valley like here!

By: wey

wey — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 19:16:03 +0000

Lily

Delighted at your blog diary. You really capture J’s spirit, intellect and courageous nature. Not to mention that we continue to get along and communicate well as the seniors in our interesting, talented and sometimes curious family.

Your W observations intrigued and interested me. Somehow there is a disconnect between my perceptions of you and your perception of my perception. But that for another day and perhaps a more private diary entry.

Love to all. W

By: Anne

Anne — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 14:51:49 +0000

As a”little old lady” who is on the other end of downsizing, I loved your post. My son and his family, have no room in their lives for stuff. I am trying to dump all extraneous matter, saving books and his late Dad’s mementos. I need to move into smaller digs with less gardening and maintainance. I hope my daughter in law and I have an opportunity to learn about each other as you have

By: bloglily

bloglily — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 18:06:17 +0000

Welcome kweenkong. yes, there are all kinds of things they’re bound to learn about sooner or later.

litlove, hope for us all! It’s nice to look back and see how much can improve.

Thank you Ann, I think she will. It’s certainly a good beginning.

U-Dad, Dudelet’s going to be reading your blog posts someday to his grandchildren! As for the parallel universe from a more gracious time, I wish you could drop by some evening when we’re all running around trying to find someone’s basketball uniform, and someone else is jumping off the bed to the futon on the floor, and the third someone is playing his drums. It is not a quiet, elegant life we lead here at chez bloglily. The blog turns the volume down on some things, raises it on others: that’s what’s so lovely about writing. You get to be the molder of the world you create.

You know, Courtney, it’s very hard sometimes to leave yourself out of things — and I’m not very good at it — but that’s what it takes to see clearly when you’re dealing with people who’re maybe a little too close to you.

Dear Fencer, Thank you.

Pauline, That is the most marvelous thing. I’m so glad you got to hear a little bit about our mother in law! xo, BL

By: Pauline

Pauline — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 08:25:05 +0000

Your posts are really moving and brought me tears! My husband engaged her mother into a conversation on the meme “Where I am From” at dinner last time, and we got the chance to discover childhood memories of my MIL that she’d told noone before. These are privileged moments we wish we have more often.

By: fencer

fencer — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:24:11 +0000

Hi bloglily,

I really like what you’re doing with this and your hidden life page… a kind of loving archaeology of the family. Beautiful photo, too.

Regards

By: Courtney

Courtney — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:15:00 +0000

Oh, I loved these posts, and you encourage me to see both my mother and my mother-in-law more kindly. It is true that everyone has a story that makes them who they are, and often they are complicated and messy and painful and treating those who frustrate us with compassion can often lead to startling revelations.

By: (un)relaxeddad

(un)relaxeddad — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 12:27:32 +0000

I really enjoyed both the post and the diary – have written and deleted a number of additional sentences. Ultimately, I’m filled with sadness that our dudelet will probably never have this experience. Maybe his children will, or their children if he or they have any and if the world lasts that long.

I wonder about your blog sometimes as to whether it’s some weird leakage from an earlier, more gracious age (or a parallel universe) where people ate properly, the whole of the family knew how to read a book and the value of life was an accepted thing.

Then I think of the equally gracious, strong sign-off of a few weeks back and know otherwise.

Still, these insights and encounters feel like a privilege.

By: Ann

Ann — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 09:56:09 +0000

I went through this process with my mother about three years ago and it was a revelation. She had held out against moving into sheltered housing until she was so nearly blind that there was simply no option. But, the fun we had sorting through everything and recalling the people and places softened the blow considerably. I hope your mother in law settles as well in her new place as Mom eventually did.

By: litlove

litlove — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 08:57:59 +0000

Dear Bloglily, if you were a silly person in your 20s then there is hope for me.

By: kweenkong

kweenkong — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 07:39:43 +0000

Cute post. Well, the boys were bound to learn that cigarettes exist anyway.

Very beautiful blogspace, btw!

By: bloglily

bloglily — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 23:39:18 +0000

Hello Bora, Yes, I think you’re right about aging gracefully. One thing that’s certain is that we are all going to have (and have) plenty examples of how people age to draw on as we go that way ourselves.

Ms. magic hands, I think those who keep good diaries probably know they’re worth holding on to. Those whose diaries consist of a daily record of whether “K” looked at them that particular day are not among them.

One cocktail cart. Check. One silver tray. Check. Two decanters (we would not want them to feel lonely) Check. Many, many books. Want to come over for drinks soon?

Hi TBM, It was an intense week, and one I’m glad we spent.

By: tobeme

tobeme — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 23:25:25 +0000

Sounds like you all had a lovely time. Great lessons that you learned and had fun while learning them. Can’t beat that!

By: Carrie

Carrie — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 23:00:57 +0000

I love the picture that you paint of this admirable, romantic figure who happens to be your mother in law. And while I generally applaud the disposal of extraneous stuff, I do hope that you hang onto at least one cocktail cart, that silver tray and decanter and a mildew-free Tolstoy. You never know when they might come in handy.