Comments on: My Widgets are Disappearing http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/ "it must give pleasure" -- Wallace Stevens Thu, 06 Oct 2011 01:38:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: healingmagichands http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-7837 Thu, 07 Jun 2007 01:48:07 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-7837 Endorphins from exercise are wonderful antidepressants! I got a dog and this forces me to get exercise. If I don’t walk her, she comes and puts her head on my knee and gazes soulfully at me, “Isn’t there something we are supposed to be doing right now????” And when I start putting on my walking shoes the excitement is uncontainable. So, I get my exercise and unconditional love and approval, all from one venue. I’m glad you are not so depressed any more. Never really been there, but I have several clients that are depressed, and I judge it must suck black hole like.

]]> By: cole http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6894 Tue, 08 May 2007 01:14:40 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6894 I still love that your write like I imagine you talk. It is friendly and warm and nice.

“……where have all the widgets gone? Long time passin. Where have all the widgets gone? Long time passin..”

I too have begun working out again ( I am a certified pilates instructor but you would NEVER know it by looking at me… I am flab and muffin top abound) but really dig teaching my class. I am only managing to get to the gym once a week now, but it is that.

Yes. I like the rent-a-friend idea. Yes. Last year I spent a lot of money on that. But yes, sitting by the pool, talking with friends and really trying to be in the moment is better.
xx

]]> By: openpalm http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6893 Tue, 08 May 2007 00:06:12 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6893 one of my favorite tools against despair and wonder “whazzup with THAT?” is reading bloglily. This made me chuckle 6 times…I’d quote the lines to you, but last time i tried that, my comment disappeared (perhaps I just need 5 minutes of clarity?)
–op

]]> By: joefelso http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6852 Sat, 05 May 2007 23:00:17 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6852 If everyone knew all the tools available, we might not be such a nation of depressives. What works for one may not work for all, but sometimes I think just picking something up and flailing is better than sitting still. Writing is a sort of talking cure too, and I’m glad your words are no longer spent on Dr. B.

]]> By: bloglily http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6838 Sat, 05 May 2007 15:04:17 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6838 Sandi, Not a sneer in sight. And believe me, a few might be in order. Dr. B didn’t sneer either, come to think of it, but you are right — the fact that she wore great shoes and we could never discuss them did not sit wellwith me. As for cleaning, I so completely agree. The duration of my marriage has been extended by at least ten years because of the fact that someone helps us keep our house clean and that someone is not me.

Jane, I am moving to Denmark. That scene you describe sounds wonderful. When I was a child, my family lived in Germany for a number of years. In the summer, we rented a house in Denmark. Both times we did this were utterly magical. The cycling and the coffee, the sunrise and the sand all sound perfect!

Dear Lilalia — YES on the housecleaning. If you can come up with the money, it is well worth it. As for the misplaced muscles, I am still trying to locate mine, so don’t know the answer to your question yet.

]]> By: sandi http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6823 Sat, 05 May 2007 03:23:22 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6823 It is so good to hear that personal trainers are nice and can help locate abdominal muscles. I have always been afraid that trainers are perfect physical specimens and would sneer at my misplacing my abdominals–and that would make me feel even worse! But perhaps I should try this. It would help to feel I am making progress every day. By the way, I too, went the psychotherapy route once upon a time, and had the exact same reaction as you did. It just doesn’t seem right that they *never* tell you what they had for dinner last night or whether they prefer the oceans or the mountains…and mostly where they buy their shoes! Also, I too, didn’t really LIKE my therapist and never wanted to tell her so, because I don’t like to tell people those things. And I knew my not liking to tell people those things was going to be treated as though it were a Major Psychological Disorder. I shall try exercise…and lilalia’s wonderful suggestion to have someone come in and clean my house! I have learned a lot tonight. Thank you.

]]> By: Jane http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6787 Fri, 04 May 2007 08:36:16 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6787 I do indeed live in a Scandinavian country – Denmark. Today my son of 18 months woke up at 5.30 in the morning. My partner and I made coffee and sandwiches, we cycled to the beach just 2 km away and then we started the day watching the sunrise, drinking coffee, digging in the sand. Also an excellent way to keep depression at bay.
Now it´s 10.30 AM and my son and my partner are sleeping…

]]> By: lilalia http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6763 Thu, 03 May 2007 20:55:29 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6763 You know another great economical substitute for a therapist: someone to come and clean your house. You wouldn’t believe it, but many marriages break or make on this one guardian angel.

Glad you are out there getting someone explain where your abdominal muscles are. I misplaced mine a few years back. Do you think it’s worth the effort to reclaim them?

All the best.

]]> By: bloglily http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6761 Thu, 03 May 2007 17:08:51 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6761 That’s it Tai, Bittersweet!

Mandarine, This proposal made me laugh. I’d just been emailing the beautiful former nun at our church who supervises the choir about having lunch and was thinking to myself, I do so like sitting with Colleen, when I saw your comment. Your vision is superb–I wonder you do not go into the business of helping people figure out truly inspired alternatives.

Smokey–I’ve never thought about that before, the part about the cluttered mind. As for messing up my room, I do that all that time!

Oh Ann, lucky you! The hill of daffodils, the people doing martial arts, that just sounds like heaven.

Hey Eli, Thank you. *waves in Eli’s direction*

Jane, do you live in a Scandanavian country by any chance? (Denmark?) My husband, whose grandparents are from Sweden, sounds just like you. And it’s true, doing something physical is so good for your outlook on life.

My dear litlove, If we are the same person, does that mean I get to have a really great English accent instead of my ordinary American one?! I thought about you when I was thinking over Dr. B, and was wondering about your work and psychoanalytic theories in general and how much you venture into that territory. I am glad to hear about the saved pounds! (Don’t worry about exercising, you just have to call it something else, something you actually like to do like “walking.”)

You know Fencer, I think the enduringly positive benefits of a physical life include not only a decrease in depression but might also make your daily life more fun, if you choose something to do you really love, as you have.

Endorphins over the mani/pedi any old day, Ms. Box o’books!

Dear Charlotte, you are right, you have to take that time because no one is going to give it to you. Your springtime walk/jogs sound beautiful. I’ll bet it’s lovely in Germany right now.

]]> By: mandarine http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6760 Thu, 03 May 2007 16:55:45 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6760 Three cheers for BL and sports.

There is a free alternative to a non-talking therapist: a priest. I am sure I am no more averse to Christian dogma than to Freudian dogma, and the former comes with absolution, and for free.

The best would probably be a priest who suggests (and supervises) physical effort as a way to redemption, rides to Peru with his dogs, does some gardening and has a psychology degree. For free.

PS: do not worry about writing only weekly. It is not the quantity that matters.

]]> By: smokey http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6758 Thu, 03 May 2007 15:53:13 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6758 Seems like the verdict is in– exercise. I’ve found, by accident, that the secret is to find some kind of huffing and puffing (that’s important) routine that does not bore you and is not difficult to get to, (if you have lots of other daily obligations–job, family). That usually means being able to walk out of one’s house to walk or jog (which can be slower than walking, and intermitent, but better, unless you can walk really fast); or hopping on an indoor bike or tread and watching some exciting old TV series on DVD. A competitive sport that you really love can help overcome the resistance of driving to get there. Maybe there’s something else.
Cluttered minds are often essential for good writing. Mess up your room, too.
Sounds like you are on a good path.

]]> By: Ann @ Zen of Writing http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6757 Thu, 03 May 2007 14:49:31 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6757 Yes, great post. Good luck with your training. Exercise is the best “drug.” Mine is martial arts, 20+ years, as well as hiking, biking, occasional running. One of these cold, northeastern winters I may sign up for strength training in a nice, warm gym, but this time of year, after being cooped up for months, I just want to be outside. We do practice aikido inside, but in warm weather the dojo is open to the outdoors, and faces a hill of daffodils.

]]> By: Eli James http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6753 Thu, 03 May 2007 11:36:19 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6753 Oh gosh. This post is beautiful. Bravo, BL!

*claps hands*

]]> By: Jane http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6748 Thu, 03 May 2007 08:15:39 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6748 I live in a country where going to a psychotherapist is not the usual thing to do, but it is also a country where just about everyone does an excessive amount of sport and everywhere people are jogging, myself included. Now I know why.
An excellent post from you Bloglily.

]]> By: litlove http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6747 Thu, 03 May 2007 07:40:59 +0000 http://bloglily.com/2007/05/02/my-widgets-are-disappearing/#comment-6747 What a truly wonderful post! I really would suspect that you and I are the same person, dear BL, except you are lovelier and wiser. The right tool at the right time is perfect advice and has just saved me thousands of pounds in therapy (where I also find it tricky to talk to someone who is not talking back). Now I’ve just got to somehow find the inclination to do some exercise….

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