Also, as somebody for whom good things are happening in my 50s (my first novel was accepted when I turned 50)–I’ve alway felt like a slow starter, but maybe these things happen when they’re meant to. I’m certainly less frazzled and freaked out than I was in my 30s and 40s. It’s a good feeling not to have to live through all that spinning-around again.

I’ve come about it from the opposite side — am thirty-seven and struggled for years to have a child, but once I lost my tubes in surgery and didn’t have to worry anymore (in the opposite way of most young women) about pregnancy, children, the future, my creative world opened up for me in ways that it never had before. And certainly in ways that I never expected.

I hope we all find that time in our lives (in our 30′s, 40′s, 50′s, 60′s and on) when we don’t have to worry any more about all the what-ifs and what-wills and just live now. What a gift.

Oh, and one more thing! Regarding what healingmagichands said, I’m going through premature menopause and I can tell you that while hot flashes are awful, but my body feels more alive now than it did in my late twenties or early thirties.

We continue to be vital, even if society at large tells us we don’t.

Beautiful post, Lily — thank you for sharing it with all of us.

U-Dad, Right — country-inflected women who write about life. I didn’t know about the Loretta Lynn/Jack White album. That I will have to check out.

I’m with you litlove, it’s good to hear news like this. I’m not quite there, but I can see it coming.

Dear Kate, Your mom sounds so great! My own went to college for the first time when I was a teenager, and would come home and talk about “women’s lib.” And then she changed jobs from being a bookkeeper to selling lumber to tobacco spitting guys, and then to selling software for Microsoft. What women they are, our mothers!

Hey Mary, Oh you should. And let me know how you like the others. xo

No mistaking where you are HMH! It’s good to know things get so, well, good.

You’ve beautifully highlighted what an inspiration Scialfa is too. I saw a profile of her on “Sunday Morning” once and she was marvelously articulate about music-making and mothering and the relationship, for her, between the two.

My own inspiration has long been my mother. She started university the same year that I started high school (her teachers’ college credentials from Scotland weren’t recognized in Canada), and I vividly remember taking an afternoon off school in my senior year to attend her university graduation. It was an excellent moment in time for me to see my mother being more than my mother, pursing her own dreams, continuing to learn and grow at an age when so much popular perception would consign her to the sideline.

Speaking as one of those women who are there already, I can tell you that by gum we are TOO sexual, and sexy and very much alive. At least I am. I am 54 now, and back when I was thirty it never occurred to me to even think about what it was going to be like in another quarter of a century.

Empty nest? It isn’t empty, just more peaceful with more time for what I want to do. Hot flashes? I had one yesterday, courtesy of my wonderful husband. . . botox? Why would I inject a deadly poison into my face to keep my character and emotions from showing?

I’m sexier now than I was when I was 25, even if my breasts aren’t as perky as they were then. Why is that? Perhaps it is partly because now that I am past menopause I can do whatever I like whenever I like whereever I want and I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant and I don’t really give a rip what anybody else thinks about it.

Tiv — Thank you. I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts. What disturbs me most is the idea that we’re not supposed to be sexual, or sexy, or alive anymore. Bah to that.