Comments on: Ten Poops Away From a Tech Deck

By: (un)relaxeddad

(un)relaxeddad — Sun, 11 May 2008 08:39:36 +0000

P.S. I want a tech deck!

By: (un)relaxeddad

(un)relaxeddad — Sun, 11 May 2008 08:38:52 +0000

Ah, rewards. We’ve been struggling with various types of sticker charts for a while since dudelet finally recognised that insisting that pretty much any voluntary act not causing actual damage rated a sticker was kind of missing the point. We do have to ring the changes every few weeks, though, or he just gets bored and forgets about them. Main tasks eligible for stickers at the moment? Being good with dudelette, going to bed nicely…And the rewards? I have a nasty feeling that there’s probably more icecream and sugar involved than there should be.

By: gentle reader

gentle reader — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:08:19 +0000

We also have those lovely little Tech Deck Dude toys at our house, so I had to laugh reading your post. I reward the guys with a trip to Target where they can pick out an item (on a very limited budget). This is after at least ten jobs/good deeds. After reading your post, I think I need to get them on dog poop patrol, though

By: openpalm

openpalm — Tue, 06 May 2008 03:17:25 +0000

our house is now interested in the idea of money, with little idea of what it really costs for anything (e.g. $50, that’s not much mom!) Hrummmph. Oddly enough even when everything is expensive it works really well to keep the jobs very small, and get an immediate quarter. Lots of them. For saying thank you, for not losing one’s cool, for doing something i ask right away (rather than later)…One event could be worth several quarters…And the sort of amazing thing is after giving a quarter, for example, for mopping up the bathroom after a shower…the mopping up happens daily without any expectation of the quarter. Now THAT’s an investment.

By: bloglily

bloglily — Mon, 05 May 2008 18:49:43 +0000

Litlove, Incipient anarchy indeed. My strategy is to keep the boys poor….

Bookfraud, You are going to be a fabulous dad to the preteen set. I’m glad you gave those kids a buck. Virtue, in fact, IS its own reward, but there’s nothing wrong with sweetening that reward a little.

Ella — SNEAKERS! You are a brilliant woman. I’m not sure I could have come up with a single thing I’d want in a situation like that except to be put out of my misery.

I’m very glad to hear you liked the paperclips Marie. They were carefully selected with you in mind, you know! As for Vincent, I can see him, his little mouth opening and closing as you recite Gilgamesh or something to him and then pop in the peas. (Good luck with that food thing, by the way. Ellen Satter — or is it Satler? — has good things to say on this subject. One of my favorites is called “Child of Mine”. If you can’t find it, e-mail me and I’ll look it up.)

Why thank you Kristin. I am also fond of the word “poo” because it is so AA Milne-sounding.

D&R — I’m thrilled to be on your blogroll! Rewards/bribes — I hadn’t thought about the distinction; thanks for mentioning that.

Dear Pauline, Glad to hear that baby’s jumping around. And you sound great too. What a lovely adventure to be embarking on.

Hi Abi, I can see why your students were thrilled by that lunch with the teacher reward. We missed our other date last fall, you know. Some day when you feel like getting out of your home office, why don’t you come to the city? I’ll take you to the nice cafe at the Asian Art Museum. And congrats on your upcoming wedding, by the way.

Ben, A candle!! That’s so, so, well, catholic! Send me your address. I have the perfect reward for you.

And all you others — you email me, okay? I have a lot of stuff I need to mail out.

you can e-mail me at bloglilyatyahoodotcom.

xoxo, L

By: Litlove

Litlove — Mon, 05 May 2008 18:05:59 +0000

You know, I think you’ve put your finger on the incipient anarchy around here lately – everyone is too old for rewards. Well, apart from my husband, but he sort of demands them, if you know what I mean, and for the kind of thing that might not seem to warrant a reward on the female scoreboard. But I used to use them often with my son. Alas, it’s been a long while since he’s wanted anything he can’t buy, or get by other means (absence of computer time is easily solved by going round a friend’s house). I shall have to think about how to upgrade the rewards system.

By: bookfraud

bookfraud — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:41:00 +0000

as a parent of a baby and clueless about how the next decade will unfold, you don’t know how much i appreciated this post, lily. and the comments, too.

i was riding the subway in nyc once when some pre-teen kids broke out into a rap about how they weren’t gang bangers, they stayed in school, etc. and when they were done, they went around for donations. one kid came up to me and i said, “virtue is its own reward.” he looked at me like i was an idiot, which i was. so i gave him a buck.

By: boxofbooks

boxofbooks — Sun, 04 May 2008 17:37:41 +0000

I reward MYSELF. Probably the greatest reward I ever thought of was when I was in labor with my daughter, and everyone was crowding around telling me that if I couldn’t push her out within the next five minutes I would have to have a c-section, since she was at a funny angle and had the cord around her neck. And I said, “Self, if you can push this baby out in five minutes, I am going to buy you a new pair of sneakers.” And I did. I love those sneakers.

By: mariegauthier

mariegauthier — Sun, 04 May 2008 15:19:20 +0000

“written down on a little anal piece of paper”

How appropriate!

Vincent doesn’t quite get the idea of prid pro quo yet, so it’s more like, distract him with something he likes & fool him into eating while he’s otherwise occupied. It’s amazing how easily his mouth opens when he’s absorbed in something. But it helps not at all to get him to eat things he doesn’t like.

Thank you for my prize — I just love the gem-colored binder clips!

By: Kristin Ohlson

Kristin Ohlson — Sat, 03 May 2008 20:06:01 +0000

I don’t have any reward programs to suggest, but I do love the title of this post!

By: diamondsandrust

diamondsandrust — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:21:30 +0000

As usual a good read Lily.
My girls always hated going clothes shopping in the city, and the only thing that would get them there was the promise of a visit to Macdonalds!-more of a bribe than a reward.
Hope you don’t mind,I have put you on my Blogroll.
D

By: Smithereens

Smithereens — Sat, 03 May 2008 09:10:26 +0000

Not much to add on rewards, because Baby Smithereens here in my belly isn’t sensitive to it yet, but I laughed so hard reading your post that I felt the baby jumping up and down and wondering what it was all about… thanks!

By: Abi

Abi — Sat, 03 May 2008 07:54:47 +0000

When I was teaching I used a lot of behavioral systems, one of them earned kids the reward of eating lunch in the classroom with me on Friday.

Students who had a green card at the end of each day (a series of cards were set up in library pockets) earned a happy face stamp. Earning five happy face stamps on your card got you lunch with Miss Jones.

Man, sometimes I miss teaching 3rd grade. Their highly sought after reward was to eat lunch with me.

By: Ben Daniel

Ben Daniel — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:03:31 +0000

Rewards. We should use more of them. We’ve been lighting a candle each time our almost three year old son uses the toilet. We sing “Happy pee pee to thee” (and “Happy poo poo to you” very soon I hope) he gets to blow out the candle and we all cheer. No doubt he’ll report us to his therapist someday.

Ben

By: bloglily

bloglily — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:53:16 +0000

Ribbons! What a great idea. And now you need to e-mail me your address so I can send you a REWARD. And you don’t even have to clean up after the dog to get one. xoxo,

TJ, That’s a very good point about the reward being not-so-valuable when you are the giver as well as the recipient. I think you need to put the cats in charge of giving. They’re scrupulous, tough, distant, and fair. (email me your address, ma’am. And don’t worry, I’m not going to mail you anything weird.)