Perhaps you are wondering what I have been doing lately. Perhaps you don’t really care. But for those who do, I want to announce that I have been improving my vocabulary in two ways.
First, I have been spending an awful lot of time on free rice — and am currently at a 46 (no 47!!), for those who are keeping track of how close to 50 you can get. 50 is the highest score possible on free rice, and it is unattainable, unless you cheat. I have considered cheating, but it seems so uncool to do that on such a worthy site, one which donates so much needed food while you marvel at the fact that there is a word that means “splittable” — fissile, as in “that piece of chocolate cake looks so fissile.”
The other thing I have been doing is not anywhere nearly as worthy, but does involve cleaning out my email, so it’s semi-worthy. I am the recipient of half a dozen emails a day asking if I would like to have my penis enlarged, a question that never fails to make me laugh. But the thing I love about these emails, beyond the zealousness of the enlargers, is the remarkable variety of words there are for the penis. I’ve been keeping track, although because this is a family blog, I am not going to give you a list. Just know that it has reached 37. My favorite of all so far is contained in the email that invited me to obtain a “bigger sword to fit in her scabbard.” It’s just such a weirdly chivalrous way of looking at it.
And that’s all I have to say today.